For some reason doing chores helps me to calm down in exceptional stressful times. That might be because it are tasks that don’t require thinking and allow for the brain to “turn off” and move the processing of the stressful things into a background task. But it very much also could be the quick Dopamin kick of getting something done.
Sure, having a way to deal with stressful times in life and getting stuff done can be very valuable. But where is the line where it becomes just procrastination? How do I notice if what I am doing is actually helpful or if I am just putting another, anxiety inducing task aside by doing the chores?
I struggle with this quite a bit. While things not done in the household create a sense of failure and guilt (“What a bad dad are you that you can’t even handle a kid, job and the chores?”) but sometimes other things are just more important (like taxes).
To accommodate for that I’m trying to alternate between other (dreadful) tasks and my typical chores. Like bring out the trash and clean the can, then write the invoices before emptying the dishwasher.
Another way for me to find out where my mind stands is asking myself if I would prefer to play games instead of the chore. If the chores win, they are a factor in what is creating my stress, and should be done. If the games win, well, everything seems normal and i should do either work or the chores. But if I’m feeling indifferent, then I’m pretty sure it is procrastination and my mind just wants to get away from another task.
Something painful, bad, not entirely unexpected but still sudden happened today. All my thoughts circle around it but I can’t public talk about it. I will most likely write about it in the coming days, but I also did not want to break the daily writing habit right on the second day.
The embrace of a two year old, her few words, can make the pain worse and sooth it at the same time.
The notebook here will by may attempt to establish a similar daily writing practice. These will be rather raw and barely edited posts about all kind of topics. Some will most likely be NSFW but tagged as such.
Because of this, they will not be shown in the feed or front page of the (much neglected) main blog. If you want to subscribe in an RSS reader the notebook category has it’s own feed though.
Why is it on this blog and not it’s own place? Mostly because this was the fastest way of getting everything set up. I love tech and can get lost in setting a site up, choosing theme, editing it, optimizing it ….. I would get it done eventually and it would be better than a hidden category but the point is starting the practice and this should get it done.
On my Moto G6 every Update seems to re-enable the Outlook and linked-in in apps I disabled on purpose. You can not uninstall apps that have been installed by the manufacturer via the play store or app settings, only disable them.
So far I have been disabling them after each update but I have gotten quite annoyed by it and did a little bit of research to find out how to fully uninstall them.
What you need is the Android Developer Bridge (ADB) on your computer and you need to enable USB debugging on the phone.
I have used Windows in this guide but there is a great guide on how to set everything up in Windows, Mac & Linux over at XDA-Developers that walks you through the process.
USB Debugging on the Phone
If you haven’t enabled the Developer Mode on your phone yet, you have to navigate to Settings, then System -> About and scroll down to the buid number. Tap this 7 times to enable Developer mode.
Then You will find the Developer Settings in the Systems Settings menu. Go there and enable USB debugging.
ADB on Windows
Setting up ADB on Windows is straight forward. Download the latest ADB version, extract the files in the zip and navigate in Powershell to the extracted folder.
Tipp: You can hold down SHIFT when right-clicking in Explorer and use “Open Powershell here”
From here you can run the adb commands. Since we did not add the folder to the PATH we will have to preface the command with .\ to make it use the adb.exe in this folder.
If you follow this guide on a different OS or have ADB in your PATH you don’t have to use the .\
Connecting the Phone
Connect the phone via USB and double check that USB debugging is enabled.
Then you check for connected devices
This starts up the ADB service and lists connected devices
* daemon not running; starting now at tcp:5037
* daemon started successfully
List of devices attached
On your phone you should get a pop-up asking you to confirm the ADB connection to the computer. After accepting it
Should list your device now not as unauthorized anymore.
List of devices attached
Listing the Apps
.\adb shell pm list packages
Prints out a long list of all installed apps. You can use this list to find the full name of the apps you want to uninstall.
I’m usually not a huge fan of making resolutions because I get far too easy into the habit of letting them slip. Because everyone does, right?
But on the other hand, having no goals is not a good thing either. So I’m going to put a bit of pressure on myself by publicly declaring my (non work related) goals for the month.
Both as in blogging stuff as well as doing blog related stuff. So what exactly?
at least 2 more blog posts
make sure everything is GDPR compliant
write an about page
a few minor tweaks
I want to finish at least one book on my reading list and make progress on the others:
The Go Programming Language – Donovan & Kernighan
A basic, but rather technical introduction to Go for people who already know how to program in other languages.
I’m using a lot tools written in Go for work and for a curious mind like me this leads to me wanting a better understanding of the language. Usually my brain is pretty roasted after taking care of the baby and work, so I don’t expect to make much progress in this one.
How to solve it – Polya
This is a classic and recommended read for everyone in scientific field or teachers.
Funnily enough it was recommended to me by my math teacher, the math professor while studying chemical biology and my math professor at the computer science classes. But the first two of them were so unlikable that I discarded pretty much everything they recommended. Not to my benefit.
I did read it in my first year of CS at the university and it is a great book. I’m rereading it with two goals in mind:
Getting a better grasp of English math terms (reading it in English now, not German as before)
Being reminded of the lessons for teachers, so I can explain things better once my daughter is old enough
New solutions for Cybersecurity – Shrobe, Shrier, Pentland
This is a collections of articles about Cybersecurity. I haven’t read anything in it yet, despite buying it close to the release early last year. It got mentioned quite positively in many security podcasts and conversations with colleagues.
There is not even a good reason why I have not read it yet, other than not finding the time for it.
Tribe of hackers – Carey, Jin
Here we have a interview collection with well known Hackers. I’m only in a few but so far it has been very interesting. Each interview is rather short so it fits my short time slots when the baby is busy rather well.
Mostly for reading along SciFi audio books. I’m currently at Ryk Browns Frontier sage. But of course an occasional smut book sneaks on there as well.
Wrap up Gaming side projects
I won’t go into details here but I have a rather high number of unfinished gaming related side projects. From updated websites to Star Citizen training modules. I really have to consolidate my commitments in that area. It is getting too much for my currently available free time.
Of course finishing things takes time, but if it goes well, I should have more free time again next month.
Fitness & Diet
I used to work out & train every day as kid and young adult, then dropped the habit when I went to university. It was not exactly a healthy life since about 3 years ago when I started regular workouts again.
But in the last 2 month, since my wife is back at work and I’m alone with the baby, I both lack opportunity and motivation for workouts. In addition I picked up some unhealthy eating habits.
I tried 5 min HIIT workouts last month but being sick for a week got me off track again. So, one more try this month!
Since I added about 3kg of extra weight in the last 2 month, I’ll also put myself on an intermittent fasting once more. It already served me well when getting back into shape 3 years ago.
Will it work?
I have no clue, but it does not seem unrealistic at least. I do need more focus on my goals in my life so this is a start. I’ll tell you in a month how it went.
Gosh has it been a while since I started this blog and I only made it to two, now rather outdated posts. Not exactly what I had in mind back then but this is where it is now.
Every time a WordPress update came along or other maintenance tasks had to be done I wanted if I should just get rid of it, but that never felt right. I might return to writing some day.
I guess that day has come!
Writing has always been a way to structure my mind. There probably are several dozen of draft blog posts on my harddrive and while I never got to touching them up well enough for publication, they all served their purose at the time of writing: They allowed me to reflect on the topic and get my thoughts in order.
Writing has always been a way to structure my mind. There probably are several dozen of draft blog posts on my hard drive and while I never got to touching them up well enough for publication, they all served their purpose at the time of writing: They allowed me to reflect on the topic and get my thoughts in order.
What to expect
The tagline of the blog used to be
security. code. games. learning
That described my goals pretty well but like I said, it never really something from it. Life has changed quite a bit so I adjusted that as well.
security. code. parenting. learning. games.
Eventually I want to get back to some non-NDA security research in my free time, so this stays there for now, even if I don’t expect much security posts to come this year. With changing projects, I’m pretty sure it will change as well.
Like with security, there probably won’t be that many coding related posts in the near future, but security and code to me pretty much go hand in hand. Since I have a few side projects in mind for the next months, there might be something ending up here.
We have a 11 month old daughter and I am her main caretaker. So naturally a lot of the stuff on my mind is related to her and how to be a good parent. I don’t intend to post everyday stories but discuss overarching themes and struggles.
Technically I’m still a computer science student and while I might not be very active at the university right now, this year I’m aiming for a lot of self improvement. Not really sure how much will be worth articles, but sometimes things just are easier understood when written down for others.
Games have been my passion ever since. Tabletop RPGs, Board Games, Poker, LARP (Live Action Roleplay), Computer Games (esp. shooter & MMOs).
How could I not write on occasion about them?
I’m sure I have forgotten some things, but this is my personal blog, so expect some random stuff as well 😉
So who am I?
In a nutshell I’m a IT-Security consultant, have a 11 month old daughter, am married for 4 years now but together with my wife for 16 years. I love games, science and metal, enjoy sports and generally speaking challenges.
And that’s it for now, I’ll eventually put a proper about me section onto the page.
So, I decided to learn how to draw. How did that happen?
I recently updated my amazon wishlist for a friend who wanted some ideas for my birthday. Among a few other things I realized that Betty Edwards’ “Drawing on the right side of the brain” was still on there.
A few years back I put it on there because it was repeatedly referenced in Andy Hunt’s “Refactor Your Wetware. Pragmatic Thinking and Learning” and I was intrigued by the neuro-psychological approach.
It is targeted to people who believe they can not draw and never will be able to. That pretty much is me. I kept it on the list and promised myself, if I get it, I will learn to draw.
Well, I got it. Here I am, learning to draw.
There are a few reasons why I actually want to learn how to draw but certainly the most important is that I want to be able to express my thoughts. In my life there have been several moments where I was not able to express my ideas in an easy to understand way where a short sketch would have made all the difference. If I knew how to draw one.
Want a recent example? Okay, I’ll embarrass myself.
This is a sketch on my whiteboard where I tried to explain my wife a design for a new top she should create. She knows me quite well so she got what I had in mind but it took time.
It is meant to be a tight fitting shirt / blouse with a transparent cutout in feather / wings optics and a repetition of the theme on the sleeves. You can get the concept from the sketch but in my mind it looks quite different.
While I was never good at drawing, I always had creative outlets in my life. From (artistic) circus shows to storytelling in role-play games over cooking to writing and of course coding.
I am not in the shape for artistic shows anymore (something I eventually want to change again). Being burned out a little on writing, coding and role-playing, I want to give drawing a chance. Do I want to become an artist? No. I will leave that to talents like Harlequin But it might be something for every now and then, when the other ways to express my creativity don’t work.
Where do I go from here?
I just finished drawing the first three ‘images’. They are part of the pre-course preparations to be able to compare them to the results after reading and working through the book. I won’t publish them now but most likely once I’m done to show the before – after comparison.
I won’t be reading or drawing every day and more importantly I probably won’t post about it that often. Only important milestones or when I feel like writing 😉
Again it is installed with a one liner that you copy from their page.
The modules Author has written a nice article about how to use it.
A really nice collection of powershell modules, skins and a way to have taps, split the window in multiple consoles and so on is cmder. The draw back is that their modules are not signed and you have to lower the rules of the execution policy even further.